Why you need to let your passion kill you

IMG_6789You da man Charlie

Yes, we’re all going to die. You and me and everyone else. One day and eventually that fateful moment Mr Grim Reaper will come calling and take us all away. And when we die isn’t even really the interesting question, as once you’re dead you won’t be around to care about what you did or didn’t do.

Now, the interesting question is how we die. Will it be cancer? Will it be Alzheimer’s? Will it be liver failure? Will it be a freak car accident?

Me? I’m holding out for Wing Suit flying. Or maybe a plane crash. OK, not really, but sometimes when I’m on a plane, and when we’re about to land I start daydreaming about what a crash would be like — the oxygen masks falling, women yelling, babies crying; maybe I’d reach across the aisle and hold a total stranger’s hand in a final dramatic gesture as we wait for the inevitable together. The stranger ends up always being Ellen Degenerous and she says “Hey, I’m Ellen by the way.” As if I didn’t know.

Luckily that hasn’t happened yet. But it’s exciting to think about.

When we think about our own deaths we typically think about the final moments. The hospital beds. The crying family. The ambulances. We don’t think about the long string of choices and habits which lead to those final moments.

You could say that our death is a work-in-progress over the course of our lives — each breath, each bite, each swallow, each late night and missed traffic light, each laugh and scream and cry and crashing fist and lonely sigh — they each bring us one step closer to our own dramatic exit from this world.

So I’m a Questions guy. And I believe the best question is: What are you choosing as your transportation to get you to your passion? If everything you do each day brings you closer to death in its own unique way, then what are you choosing to let kill you?

The concept of life purpose has ignited in popularity recently. Everyone is trying to be lifestyle entrepreneurs. We don’t just want to make money or build a secure career. We want to do something important. We want to be recognized. We want to be looked up to. We want to be celebrities. We want to be that guy/ gal that everyone wishes they were or that guy/ gal that everyone wishes they could be Hooking up with because just how awesome they are at everything. We want to be valued.

Meaning is the new luxury.

But like any other luxury, we idealize meaning. People believe that all you have to do is find the thing — that one bloody thing! — that you are “meant” to do, and suddenly, everything will click into place. You’ll do it until the day you die and always feel fulfilled and happy and prance with unicorns and rainbows while making a million dollars in your pajamas.

But we just need that one thing — if only we knew what our purpose was, then everything would fit into place! Life would be perfecto.

And while it’s possible to sit around with your fidget spinner and think about some ideas to help you get started, finding meaning and purpose is not a five-day vacation. It’s a fucking hike through mud and shit with golf-ball-sized hail pelting you in the face. And you have to love it. You really have to love it.

As Charles Bukowski said, “What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.”

Ya know, it does burn. Finding the passion and purpose in your life is a trial-by-fire process. If only you could wake up one day and become happy doing one thing forever and ever.

My Personal Formula to Have Fuck Tons Of Success in your passion

Work-in-progress. You must try something, pay attention to how it feels, adjust and then try again. Nobody gets it right on the first try, or the tenth or sometimes even the two-hundredth.

It’s that simple. I hate to say it but it’s just that simple.

Michael Jordan wanted to play basketball so he played basketball and missed a shit ton of free throws. Stephen King wanted to write books so he wrote a shit ton of really bad stories. Matthew McConaghey wanted to be an Actor so he took his shirt off and did some really bad acting and then won an Oscar by working on his craft. But he did a shit ton of bad acting before he did one role well.

And then when you do it well…… it’s inevitable that you need to change. To continue to kick ass and take names and there will probably be dips and mess ups.

“Acting is easy. All you have to do is take a scalpel to your heart and start cutting into it.” – Sally Field
There’s an inherent sacrifice to finding what you Love. In a weird paradoxical way-
It’s like choosing a spouse, it’s not about choosing someone who makes you happy all the time, it’s choosing somebody who you want to be with even when they’re pissing you off.

Your love will give you energy though. Whether it’s out of anger or out happiness.


Your love is something that feels like an inevitability, like you have no choice because this is simply who you are, dysfunction and all. It’s your chosen transportation towards death. And you’re happy to let it take you there. But you’re under no illusions that it won’t be a smooth ride.

It’s really odd how life turns out when you just start doing shit. I went to school and earned my degree in Acting but now I’m taking my hand at writing as much as possible. I enjoy the fuck out of the process. But I also hate the process and want to kill my work and stab it to death. (Not literally.) it’s just some days are hard.

But the point is: you don’t know where you’ll end up.

– Your study of speech therapy may lead you to voice acting which may turn into a career in children’s cartoons and then you may decide at age 55 that children’s cartoons are corrupted by corporate interests and you spend the rest of your days sketching comics you love but never publish.
– You may end up believing that you need to steal to get ahead. One day you steal a car, get caught, and before you know it you have a Probation officer. You end up becoming very close with your probation officer so you go to school to become one. Happy accidents my friend. No ones perfect.
– You may listen to a podcast to a shit ton of podcast and you inevitably find yourself taking notes and so you start a blog and start posting the information you’ve learned from podcast and you find yourself writing on a regular basis and you think “why don’t I just become a coach and help up and coming generations with confidence, creativity and purpose. (Heck; maybe that’s what I’m doing too. Copy me! I don’t care.)

The thing is. I didn’t know. And I still don’t know. But like most of us experience love at first sight, few will experience passion and meaning at first experience. Like a relationship, we must build it from scratch, brick-by-brick, until after years of concrete and sweat, it can stand on its own.

Either way the inevitable is to come. Mr Grimm will visit us all and time will pass whether we want it or not. Just do anything. Even if the return of investment isn’t incredible. Either way if you keep thinking about this passsion that you want in your life then love it so much you want to kill it. Because really- When he does come (Mr Grimmey Reap) the question lies- how will he take you?

Comment below and let me know what you’re killing yourself in just so you can love it.


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