There’s this peculiar trait your brain has, if you let it, it can drive you absolutely coo coo. Tell me if this happens to you: You get scared about confronting somebody in your life. That fear damages you and you start wondering why you’re so anxious.
Now you’re becoming anxious about being anxious. Now you’re super anxious! Now you’re anxious about your anxiety, which is causing more anxiety. Quick, where’s the scotch? Let’s say you have an anger problem. You get pissed off at the dumbest, most unimportant stuff, and you have no idea why. And the fact that you get pissed off so easily starts to piss you off even more. And then, in your petty anger, you realize that being angry all the time makes you a mean person, and you hate this; you hate it so much that you get angry at yourself. Now look at you: you’re angry at yourself getting angry about being angry. Gosh dammit. Foot, meet wall. Ouch!!
Or you’re so stressed out about doing the right thing all the time that you become worried about how much you’re stressing. “I heard stress causes early Alzheimer’s.” I heard Alzheimer’s cause memory losss!!” You feel so guilty for every mistake you make that you begin feeling guilty about how guilty you’re feeling. Or you get sad and alone so often that it makes you feel even more sad and alone just thinking about it.
Chances are you’ve engaged in it more than a few times. Maybe you’re engaging in it right now: “God, I do this all the time—I’m such a loser for doing it. I should stop. Oh my God, I feel like such a loser for calling myself a loser. I should stop calling myself a loser. Ah, fuck! I’m doing it again! See? I’m a loser! Ahhhhh!”
Calm down, amigo. Believe it or not, this is part of the beauty of being human.
Welcome to the habit loop. Making many of us stressed, over analyzing and anxiety driven. The dirty secret inside all of this though is that it doesn’t have to go down like this.
No, seriously. Flip this fucker on its head. Use all these Habits for good instead of evil and you’ve got a recipe for Dodging Anger Bullets all everyday my little friend. Or big friend. Or average friend. I’m good but I’m not that good; I can’t guess what size you are.
Get back on track Logan.
Now if you feel like shit for even five minutes, you’re bombarded with 350 images of people totally happy and having amazing fucking lives, and it’s impossible to not feel like there’s something wrong with you. And that’s hell on earth.
We joke online about “first-world problems,” but we really have become victims of our own success. Stress-related health issues, anxiety disorders, and cases of depression have skyrocketed over the past thirty years, despite the fact that everyone has a flat-screen TV and can have their groceries delivered right to their front door step. Our crisis is no longer material; it’s existential, it’s spiritual. We have so much fucking stuff and so many opportunities that we get so backed up with garbage and this inevitably makes us so habitually suited for failure that we need to dig deep on the little thoughts we keep telling ourselves Day in and Day out.
Here’s the thing: with all of the “How to Be Happy” shit that’s been shared two trillion times on Facebook in the past few years—here’s what nobody realizes about all of this crap:
The desire for more positive experiences is not impossible. We’ve got to make ourselves a plan though.
What I’m about to share with you could be your ticket to being habitually happy.
Real quick this is how a habit works;
In his best-selling book, The Power of Habit author, saint, hero of your life- Charles Duhigg explains a simple three-step process that all habits follow. This cycle, known as The Habit Loop, says that each habit consists of…
* There’s the Trigger: the event that starts the habit. (Anger)
* There’s the Routine: the behavior that you perform, the habit itself. (Angry you; makes a mean you)
* There’s the Reward: the benefit that is associated with the behavior. (Fist, Meet Wall!!.)
What if this reward could create a Happy you?
Warning: Breaking Bad Habits is fun when they’re working for you and not against you.
Happiness Habits to inherit in order to dodge Anger and Depression
1. Smell The Roses: That’s right, those who are happiest know how to stop and be present in the moment. They slow down and pay attention and don’t live inside their screens. They know that each moment matters, and they savor all the experiences of life. Next time you’re angry make a habit of acknowledging your pissed off and give less fucks. Caring less actually alleviates anger.
2. Don’t sweat the small stuff: The happiest people focus their efforts only on things that meet two tests: It has to be truly important, and it has to be within their control. Learning to ignore things you can’t do anything about, so getting pissed off at traffic, weather, or your ability to have a strong jawline. (You can’t change your genetics, you can only do the best with what you have.)
3. Persist in challenging times: Happy people thrive on challenges. They see failure not as a bad ending but as the setup to trying again, to a new and better-informed effort. They understand that difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. This is why people love games. Every time you make it to a Check point your brain is hit with a mini dose of
(Endorphines: Endorphins include enkephalins and dynorphins, substances associated with feelings of pleasure, sexuality/sensually, euphoria and pain relief. Essentially, endorphins promote a sort of “bliss,” providing a sense of well-being.) Therefore, Progress is the King Kong of happiness.
4. COMMIT TO YOUR GOALS AND Videos VISION: (All caps signify that I’m yelling this at you so you better hear me roar.) So your goal is to shed 20 pounds. And you hate working out. What do you? Combine exercise and make a tv/ exercise sandwich. Eat up the entertainment while riding a recumbent exercise bike. Start small and try it for 10 minutes. Take care of you body. The body and the mind are connected, so if you don’t take care of your physical energy, your mental energy cannot flourish. When you nourish your body with sound sleep, good ass food, and exercise, you nurture your soul.
5. You are the five percent you associate yourself with the most. Hangout with happy dudes and dudettes. Happy people know that the company you choose has a huge impact on how you feel, what you think, and how you act. Being around positive people gives you a positive outlook, and negative people are just as infectious. It may not be possible to completely avoid exposure to negative and chronically unhappy people, but you can minimize the effects by refusing to engage in their patterns of thinking.
6. Develop coping strategies. Our characters are shaped by how we react to circumstances–especially when things go bad. A strong arsenal of coping strategies lets happy people deal positively with challenges. Being prepared for tough times keeps life’s problems from becoming overwhelming, and good management of bad experiences leads to growth and happiness.
7. Give more than what you take. The happiest people prefer giving to receiving. They know the more they give, the more they have. Generosity and a commitment to helping others generates happiness and drives success. The very best way to be happy is to lose yourself in giving to others.
8. Stand at the edge of discomfort. Achievement doesn’t happen without taking risks, and the happiest people are never content to hang around where they’re comfortable. They don’t wait for the perfect moment–they make the moment perfect with their willingness to be uncomfortable.
9. Nurture your relationships. It is almost impossible to be happy in the absence of deep meaningful relationships. Connection with others fosters happiness, and nurturing relationships in a way that builds deep connection–allowing people into your life–allows them to accept your past, support your present, and encourage your future.
If you want to be happier–and really, who doesn’t want to be happier?–take perspective unto these 9 habits.
Lasting advice; take it or leave it (but you know you want to take it.) Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To change your bad habits is not easy. You can become an unstoppable force of nature if your habit loop was designed to work for you instead of against you.
Comment below and let me know a few bad Habit loops that you’re going to start dodging.